Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of squatting houses left empty by families on holiday has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn admirers.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn admirers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Bernard Jenkin said of the Jeremy Corbyn admirers, "new Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims.".