The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, all of them involving teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values.

In the glorious days of George Osborne, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by, but nowadays thanks to teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..