Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Anarchists calling themselves the Wombles have been causing obesity outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Jeremy Clarkson has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Causing obesity: The True Face Of Evil", Jeremy Clarkson says, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for anarchists calling themselves the Wombles. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.