The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to libraries, all of them involving yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps.

In the glorious days of Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to libraries, but nowadays thanks to yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps setting fire to libraries is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is These dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs..