The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, all of them involving coloureds.

In the glorious days of Lala from the teletubbies, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, but nowadays thanks to coloureds defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are a grandmother.