In a shocking indictment of our permissive society it has this week emerged that hooligans have been injecting crack into primary school children.

Things have gone too far. Its bad enough that we tolerate the spicy food and loud music of hooligans without allowing them to terrorise decent, middle class families as well.

The Mail will be starting a campaign against hooligans and we promise our readers now that we shall not rest until each one of them is hunted down like a dog. The Pope speaking in support of our campaign said "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

Have things gone too far? Have your say on our webshite!