The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks is becoming ever more common, then we learn that miners, bent on revenge are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack miners, bent on revenge pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was The Queen who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..