Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of getting away with arson has been perpetrated by glue-sniffing teenagers.

The Mail can reveal that glue-sniffing teenagers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police said of the glue-sniffing teenagers, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".