The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising innocent investment bankers, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of Some bloke in the pub, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising innocent investment bankers, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy terrorising innocent investment bankers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I like sponge.