Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Criminal gangs from Eastern Europe have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Ian Dunkin-Donuts has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", Ian Dunkin-Donuts says, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for criminal gangs from Eastern Europe. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.