Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Al Qu’aeda bosses have been helping illegal immigrants outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Ian Dunkin-Donuts has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Helping illegal immigrants: The True Face Of Evil", Ian Dunkin-Donuts says, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Al Qu’aeda bosses. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.